This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast.
From Episode 8: When The Jig Is Up — Dan Tocchini
From Episode 8: When The Jig Is Up — Dan Tocchini
by Belinda Lams
"If you don't have results,
you have stories.
The stories are designed to make you right about not
having results."
-Dan Tocchini
"If you don't have results,
you have stories.
The stories are designed to make you right about not
having results."
-Dan Tocchini
If you're feeling stuck in life right now, you're not alone.
As uncomfortable and confining as it seems, it is truly a stop on the way to somewhere that your Soul is trying to take you.
"Stuck" is actually a place of teaching.
It tells you where you are, what you want AND what is blocking you. But you must tune into its lesson, figure out what needs attention, and then you can move on.
In Dan Tocchini's episode, he shares the concept that our stories can keep us stuck. They prevent us from having the desires that we REALLY want; connection with our spouse, financial stability, a healthy body, meaning in our work, etc.
Stories are inner narratives that we have running all the time.
They are based on mini-beliefs strung together into a storyline. One belief leads to another and to another and then Oila! Storytime.
Let me normalize this for you. We are all living out little stories every day. It's part of being human. Some stories are very empowering. Yay! But some stories keep us trapped. :-(
The good new is, you can rewrite your story.
How? Investigative inquiry.
When you hit that Wall of Stuck in your path and you feel hemmed in...when you can't see a door or a window and you don't know what to do...then it's an opportune time to investigate and inquire into your story.
What got you here? What do you believe about yourself, your relationships, your experience, the world that keeps you at this Wall of Stuck?
I coached with a woman who was very stuck in her life. She wasn't thriving and wasn't getting what she wanted, which was financial stability, intimacy in her marriage, and happiness. Upon inquiry into her story, she discovered that she was waiting for her husband to figure it out. Then and only then would she have what she longed for.
Lo and behold, her husband wasn't figuring it out at all. And she started to go into despair. Sitting at the Wall of Stuck. Sitting in her story that it was up to him to make the moves so she could ultimately be happy.
We talked about the solid Wall with no doors and no windows. I had her look at all the places she was saying, I can't because _________. Or It won't happen because _____________.
Those phrases are sign-posts on the stuck journey. They are your clues. They are the mini beliefs that are holding you at the Wall.
Here is a work-through to help you get unstuck:
1. Understand that it starts with you and your story.
What do you insist that must happen in order for you to get unstuck?
2. Identify all the "can'ts" and find out exactly what those beliefs are saying.
Ask if they are really true? You might think they are, but consider that they aren't. BTW: Often fear is behind the cant's.
3. Open up your creative mind to new possibilities.
When you're stuck, you hyper-focus on the ONE AND ONLY option and since it won't or can't happen, you stay at the Wall.
Instead, consider there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of possibilities to emancipate yourself. You just have to be willing to entertain them.
At some point (I guarantee), you will find the opening.
A door or window will appear. The pressure will soften. And you will continue on your journey with a new level of wisdom.
So, what is the story that is keeping you at the Wall of Stuck?
Speaking of...Dan has an upcoming training called "The Opening" on September 29 & 30. Learn more.
As uncomfortable and confining as it seems, it is truly a stop on the way to somewhere that your Soul is trying to take you.
"Stuck" is actually a place of teaching.
It tells you where you are, what you want AND what is blocking you. But you must tune into its lesson, figure out what needs attention, and then you can move on.
In Dan Tocchini's episode, he shares the concept that our stories can keep us stuck. They prevent us from having the desires that we REALLY want; connection with our spouse, financial stability, a healthy body, meaning in our work, etc.
Stories are inner narratives that we have running all the time.
They are based on mini-beliefs strung together into a storyline. One belief leads to another and to another and then Oila! Storytime.
Let me normalize this for you. We are all living out little stories every day. It's part of being human. Some stories are very empowering. Yay! But some stories keep us trapped. :-(
The good new is, you can rewrite your story.
How? Investigative inquiry.
When you hit that Wall of Stuck in your path and you feel hemmed in...when you can't see a door or a window and you don't know what to do...then it's an opportune time to investigate and inquire into your story.
What got you here? What do you believe about yourself, your relationships, your experience, the world that keeps you at this Wall of Stuck?
I coached with a woman who was very stuck in her life. She wasn't thriving and wasn't getting what she wanted, which was financial stability, intimacy in her marriage, and happiness. Upon inquiry into her story, she discovered that she was waiting for her husband to figure it out. Then and only then would she have what she longed for.
Lo and behold, her husband wasn't figuring it out at all. And she started to go into despair. Sitting at the Wall of Stuck. Sitting in her story that it was up to him to make the moves so she could ultimately be happy.
We talked about the solid Wall with no doors and no windows. I had her look at all the places she was saying, I can't because _________. Or It won't happen because _____________.
Those phrases are sign-posts on the stuck journey. They are your clues. They are the mini beliefs that are holding you at the Wall.
Here is a work-through to help you get unstuck:
1. Understand that it starts with you and your story.
What do you insist that must happen in order for you to get unstuck?
2. Identify all the "can'ts" and find out exactly what those beliefs are saying.
Ask if they are really true? You might think they are, but consider that they aren't. BTW: Often fear is behind the cant's.
3. Open up your creative mind to new possibilities.
When you're stuck, you hyper-focus on the ONE AND ONLY option and since it won't or can't happen, you stay at the Wall.
Instead, consider there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of possibilities to emancipate yourself. You just have to be willing to entertain them.
At some point (I guarantee), you will find the opening.
A door or window will appear. The pressure will soften. And you will continue on your journey with a new level of wisdom.
So, what is the story that is keeping you at the Wall of Stuck?
Speaking of...Dan has an upcoming training called "The Opening" on September 29 & 30. Learn more.
