Soul Organizer
  • NEWS

Hero's Journey or Victim's Journey

7/22/2018

0 Comments

 
This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 6: When The Devil Is In The Details — Sarah Tueting
Picture


​by Belinda Lams

I write this blog on the day of my Mother In-Law's passing — the journey of life and death fresh on my mind.

May her memory be for a blessing. 




​(Thanks to Jeff Lams for helping to flesh this out)
On this journey of life, each one of us will receive a "call to adventure." 

This call is some kind of challenge to your status quo. It might be an extreme crisis, or it could simply be a disappointment that things aren't going your way. 

You can refuse that call and become a Victim.
Or you can say yes and become a Hero. 


Look at Sarah Tueting. In her podcast 
episode
, she shared about an unfathomable tragedy when she discovered that her babies had been abused. She was shocked, devastated, and knocked down.  After allowing herself to go through the range of emotions, she eventually arrived at this insight: 

Yes, Evil had injured her babies.
But, Evil would continue to injure them long-term if she didn't cut off its power.

That's when she said yes to the Hero's Journey.

But, what if she had said yes to the Victim's Journey? Imagine if she used her status as a legal victim to become an emotional victim for the rest of her life?

Let's do a side by side comparison. In this examination, let's say that the Hero and the Victim have received the same painful call to adventure.

The Victim will choose the wound instead of the healing.
The Hero will choose the healing instead of the wound.

The Victim will cultivate injustice instead of forgiveness.
The Hero will cultivate forgiveness instead of injustice.

The Victim will cling to the anger and resentment.
The Hero will release the anger before it becomes resentment.

The Victim will blame everything and everyone.
The Hero will take responsibility and help others with their experience.

The Victim will carry a grudge and become disfigured.
The Hero will let go and become radiant.

The Victim will whine and complain.
The Hero will be grateful and loving. 

The Victim will become defensive, protective, and shut down.
The Hero will become resilient, flexible, and open.

The Victim will infect their relationships with their victim story.
The Hero will bless their relationships with their courageous story.

The Victim will say they had no choice. 
The Hero will say that there is always a choice.

We all choose to be a Victim at times. It's a human default reaction. However, once we are aware, we have the opportunity to get on that brave path of transformation.

Whatever you're going through right now, you can shift onto this heroic path starting right now, while you're still here.


And here is a shameless plug: I can help you with my Wisdom Life Coaching. I would be honored to guide you from Victim to Hero. It is possible and I would love to be part of your new story.

Email: 
[email protected] if you're ready to do this!  I'm here for you.
0 Comments

Despair Then Transformation

6/24/2018

0 Comments

 
This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 5: When The River Runs Dry — Naomi Collins-Beltz
Picture

 by Belinda Lams

"Despair is a last protection."

​                                     -David Whyte 

"Despair is a part of the metamorphosis."
                           -Naomi Collins-Beltz

Healing. Transformation. Fulfillment.


Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Pain. Depression. Despair.

Yes. Yes. And yes. 

What?!!! No!!! 

Really...yes. The painful parts of our lives serve a profound purpose. While our culture tries to tell us that any pain is bad and should be immediately resolved with some kind of magic pill, it eliminates a necessary and powerful component from our process. 

In her 
podcast episode, Naomi shared about a period of depression and despair. Her life felt like a bait and switch. She had thought she was heading toward the Promised Land of fulfillment and actualization. Instead, she found herself on Survivor Island, feeling abandoned and forgotten.

Through this painful and dark experience, she learned that Survivor Island and the Promised Land share the same territory. In order to have one, you must have the other.

Despair is a part of transformation. 
It brings you right up to the edge of your life where you feel at a loss. Then you have an opportunity to shed your current ways of thinking and behaving in order to discover new ones. 

Despair is an indicator that something needs attention.
Rather than making it bad or wrong (or making yourself bad or wrong), try going into it. What is it telling you?

Despair won't last forever. 
Even though it may feel interminable, it will surely end. Everything has a season. If you resist the pain, it actually gets stronger. Try relaxing into it and learn its teaching. 
0 Comments

Accept What Is

6/17/2018

0 Comments

 
This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 5: When The River Runs Dry — Naomi Collins-Beltz
Picture

​by Belinda Lams


​"I think this is the definition of insanity: when I'm living my life, but I'm denying what's happening."
                                     -Naomi Collins-Beltz

What if everything is as it should be right now.


I don’t know if I fully believe that idea philosophically, but lately I have been trying it on to see if it's helpful. And you know what? It just might be. 
(check out my thought experiment below)

In Naomi's episode, she talked about a certain kind of "insanity" that occurs when we deny the reality of what is happening in our lives. 

Here are a few common "insane" statements:

This can't be happening! (Yet it is.) 
I shouldn't feel this way. (But you do.) 
Life is NOT supposed to be like this. (Still it is.)

This disbelief or denial about what is happening is a defense mechanism. Life isn't going your way, it hurts, and you can't stand the pain. So you erect an alternate reality and hide under its illusory protection. 

But...what if everything really is as it should be right now.

What if we can say:

This is happening and it hurts. (And it's ok)
I feel afraid. (And it's ok)
Life is supposed to be like this because it is. (AND it's ok)

When you accept what is, you can find authentic solutions.

The hurt can be looked after. (You start to heal)
The fear can be faced. (You gain courage)
The difficulty can be a calling. (You transform)

As Naomi said, "If everything in your life is happening to get you to wake up…then the circumstance you’re in is what you need."


Choose sanity: Accept the reality of the moment and then make your next choice from there.

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT:
Think of a situation that you currently find particularly difficult. Now say, it’s not supposed to be this way. This can’t be happening.
Notice how it feels in your body. Notice the thoughts that come after that initial thought. 

Now try this. Think of the exact same difficult situation that you are currently experiencing. Say to yourself, everything is the way it’s supposed to be right now. (You may be resisting this idea, but just try it). Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be right now.
Notice your body sensations and the thoughts the proceed from that perspective. 


Check out Naomi's E-book with companion E-Journal, "7days-7Steps to Living IN Sanity" on Amazon.

0 Comments

    Archives

    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    April 2016
    March 2016
    August 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Awareness
    Breakthrough
    Choices
    Clarity
    Depression
    Despair
    Focus
    Gratitude
    Grieve
    Healing
    Intention
    Love
    Mindfulness
    Organize
    Perspective
    Priorities
    Self-love
    Stress
    Transformation

    View my profile on LinkedIn
    Follow @BelindaLams
Site powered by Weebly. Managed by Bluehost
Photos from Skley, p.bjork, GorillaGolfBlog, NJ.., BONGURI, MIKI Yoshihito (´・ω・), mlinksva, Neal., Greencolander, hans s, bluebirdsandteapots, INABA Tomoaki, messycupcakes, zombieite, Yandle, Half Chinese, * karo666 *, Poetprince