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Making Sense of Things

2/23/2018

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This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 1: When Lightning Strikes Twice — Lisa DeLong

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By Belinda Lams

"It's all about expanding
spiritual awareness."

​             -Lisa Solis DeLong

We move through life with certain theories and beliefs about how things work. Whether we realize it or not, these theories and beliefs are guiding our interpretations and consequently our every decision.


In other words, they are shaping the life we have right now.

For example, in Lisa’s story, she had a theory that even though life had dealt her a blow, things would recover and she would live happily ever after. So, even though her son Justin suffered with leukemia and went through the treatment, he would stay in remission and life would be great. And certainly, none of her other children would go through something so traumatic. 

I thought the same thing with my daughter Aria. When she got leukemia, went through the years of treatment, and then achieved remission, I believed that was enough suffering for one person (or a family). And we would be done.

We were wrong. There was much more suffering to come.

So the theories blew up. They didn’t make sense because they didn’t fit with reality; with what was actually happening.

Now what? Well, for Lisa (and for myself) her theories and beliefs got challenged to the core and she accepted that challenge. (Not without a fight).

Her paradigm cracked. And as we humans do, she wanted to make sense of things.

Paradigms are like anchors. The ground us in this world. They make us feel safe and help us know how to live. When they don’t make sense anymore, it causes disorientation of a powerful magnitude. 

This is what happens when you’re in a transformation process; when you’re on The Hero’s Journey.  The paradigm/reality where you comfortably reside — which includes your theories and beliefs about life — comes apart. It’s profoundly scary. 
​

What Lisa found and what I have found (and what my coaching clients find), is that there is still meaningful life afterward.

While our paradigm might have come apart, we are ushered into another one that accounts for our new findings. And we carry the knowledge that this new paradigm isn’t the ultimate truth either, but a chamber to visit on our pathway through life. There will be more paradigm explosions, or subtle shifts, and they become slightly more welcome than that first big jolt. You become a veteran. A seasoned traveler with a looser grip.

​Find Lisa at lisasolisdelong.com

HAVE YOU HAD A PARADIGM EXPLOSION?
I'd love to hear about it. F
eel free to share in the comments below. 
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Heartbreak

2/18/2018

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This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 1: When Lightning Strikes Twice — Lisa DeLong

Picture
​by Belinda Lams 
​
“…heartbreak may be the very essence of being human, of being on the journey from here to there, and of coming to care deeply for what we find along the way.” 
                                   - David Whyte, Poet


"...I could still feel joy even though I was in
so much sorrow."

                                                                                                             -Lisa Solis DeLong


Have you ever made inner vows after being hurt? 

“I’ll NEVER let myself fall in love AGAIN.” 
“I’ll NEVER get married AGAIN after that horrible divorce.”
“I’ll NEVER speak from my heart AGAIN.” 

NEVER!!! AGAIN!!!

(I've said it.)

In her interview, Lisa DeLong believed that she could NEVER have joy AGAIN after losing her beloved eldest son Justin to Leukemia. Her pain and grief were so acute that she started barricading her heart with her second son. She didn’t want to risk feeling that magnitude of love or agony of loss ever again. It's too much!!!

What is happening? Here are my thoughts...

We learn from pain. Once we experience the scorch of a hot iron, we learn to avoid that possibility in the future. Our brains collect this information to help us survive. That is how we’re wired. It's normal.
Now, when our hearts get broken, we experience emotional pain that hurts much like touching a hot iron.

When we lose someone we love—to death, divorce or when there is betrayal or abuse—our hearts close down in order to help us survive. We learn to avoid people or circumstances that remind us of that pain.  We NEVER want that to happen AGAIN.

There is some wisdom there, mind you. It’s not wise to place ourselves in harm’s way with an abusive person or situation. Clearly there are circumstances where we must guard our hearts.

However, there are times when it is the better choice to allow ourselves to open up and love AGAIN.

Though we may be protecting ourselves from future harm, we are also preventing the extraordinary beauty of life that we can experience right now, which requires the risk of our hearts.

And sometimes our hearts get broken. It’s inevitable.


Lisa learned that her heart could break, close off, and also reopen and start to heal. She could love her second son. 

And she could find joy again too, though it didn't seem possible or accessible at the time.

​Find Lisa at lisasolisdelong.com

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT HEARTBREAK?
I'd love to hear. Feel free to share in the comments section below. 
​​
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MAKE A ONE-TIME DONATION
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