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Hero's Journey or Victim's Journey

7/22/2018

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This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 6: When The Devil Is In The Details — Sarah Tueting
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​by Belinda Lams

I write this blog on the day of my Mother In-Law's passing — the journey of life and death fresh on my mind.

May her memory be for a blessing. 




​(Thanks to Jeff Lams for helping to flesh this out)
On this journey of life, each one of us will receive a "call to adventure." 

This call is some kind of challenge to your status quo. It might be an extreme crisis, or it could simply be a disappointment that things aren't going your way. 

You can refuse that call and become a Victim.
Or you can say yes and become a Hero. 


Look at Sarah Tueting. In her podcast 
episode
, she shared about an unfathomable tragedy when she discovered that her babies had been abused. She was shocked, devastated, and knocked down.  After allowing herself to go through the range of emotions, she eventually arrived at this insight: 

Yes, Evil had injured her babies.
But, Evil would continue to injure them long-term if she didn't cut off its power.

That's when she said yes to the Hero's Journey.

But, what if she had said yes to the Victim's Journey? Imagine if she used her status as a legal victim to become an emotional victim for the rest of her life?

Let's do a side by side comparison. In this examination, let's say that the Hero and the Victim have received the same painful call to adventure.

The Victim will choose the wound instead of the healing.
The Hero will choose the healing instead of the wound.

The Victim will cultivate injustice instead of forgiveness.
The Hero will cultivate forgiveness instead of injustice.

The Victim will cling to the anger and resentment.
The Hero will release the anger before it becomes resentment.

The Victim will blame everything and everyone.
The Hero will take responsibility and help others with their experience.

The Victim will carry a grudge and become disfigured.
The Hero will let go and become radiant.

The Victim will whine and complain.
The Hero will be grateful and loving. 

The Victim will become defensive, protective, and shut down.
The Hero will become resilient, flexible, and open.

The Victim will infect their relationships with their victim story.
The Hero will bless their relationships with their courageous story.

The Victim will say they had no choice. 
The Hero will say that there is always a choice.

We all choose to be a Victim at times. It's a human default reaction. However, once we are aware, we have the opportunity to get on that brave path of transformation.

Whatever you're going through right now, you can shift onto this heroic path starting right now, while you're still here.


And here is a shameless plug: I can help you with my Wisdom Life Coaching. I would be honored to guide you from Victim to Hero. It is possible and I would love to be part of your new story.

Email: 
[email protected] if you're ready to do this!  I'm here for you.
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Soul Speak (blog)

4/1/2016

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by Belinda Lams

The soul has a language all its own. There's nothing quite like it. Even though it speaks, we're not always listening. It's easy to tune out the subtleties of the soul and focus on the loud voices in our heads. You know what I'm talking about, right? The chatter box negativity that is quite incessant unless you learn how to tame it. Soul speaks in symbols and nuances. It speaks in moods. It likes to reflect and contemplate. It doesn't require answers for everything. Soul is imaginative, inward, and deep. 

Reading Thomas Moore's "Care of the Soul" for a few rounds has helped me to consider that all of the things we internally experience in this life are worthy of exploration—whether depression, enthusiasm, detachment, bliss—they all have meaning and provide clues to who we are. I am learning to allow my soul to speak. Instead of disregarding or squelching, I am tuning in to see what it wants and needs.

If you look at what symptomizes in your life as a message instead of something to conquer, you can bore into the depths of your being and collect elements of meaning and desire, potentially bringing them back up to the surface. This can renew intimacy with yourself and others. It can provide compassion and appreciation for the journey.

Hey...this life is filled with twists and turns. None of us really know all that much. If we don't allow ourselves to learn the language of soul, then we're missing a guiding light.  I want to hear what it has to say because I think it just might be leading me toward the truest version of my life. 

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Art & Soul (podcast)

3/16/2016

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Picture"Think Different"
Listen to this fascinating phone interview with a mystical soul and artist extraordinaire, Dorsey McHugh. You will love her! We had so much fun exploring the depths of art, honoring space, following the call in our lives, and the unique art that resides in each one of us. You'll be inspired to let yourself be the truest you. 
You can find Dorsey's art in galleries around the country as well as her website
 dorseymchugh.com. 


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Brokenness and Beauty

9/9/2013

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Aria Soleil Lams
by Belinda Lams

I've been wrestling with a blog all day, not sure what to say or how to say it. I don't want to let this day pass until I share, so here it is.

9 years ago today, my little daughter passed away. 

It was a rainy Thursday when she drew her last breath. My life would never be the same. 

I have spent the better portion of this day exploring the terrain of my shattered heart. It is just as broken as it was 9 years ago.  Was it supposed to heal?  

I bravely pulled out my journal from the day of her passing and the many months that followed. That mother was distraught. She begged for signs...answers. She was searching for some way to make sense of everything that had happened, but came up short most of the time.  

As I sat in a Rosh Hashana service this last week, the Rabbi read a poem about reading poems. It suggested that we try to squeeze the meaning out of poetry, instead of dance within it. I think that's what I have tried to do. I have wanted to force the poem to tell me what it means, but it won't divulge. 

There is beauty in brokenness. I don't know why. 

Tomorrow I will get back up on my horse and continue to ride through my life. But today, I was compelled to step off and reflect on where I've come from, where I am now, and what is compelling me to dare ride again.

(Photo Effect by Marsha Skidmore.  Thank you! xoxo)

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Bottle This Moment

1/30/2013

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by Belinda Lams

I recently celebrated my day of birth. As I walked on my favorite trail, the sun shining on my face, I smiled with recognition that all is right in my world. At least right now. 

It's not always like this. I know all too well. Those of you who know me, know that I've lived through horrible tragedies. But on this day...all is well. And I must acknowledge this moment and not let it slip by. 

I'm tempted to think that life is supposed to always be good and just slough off the times when everything seems to be in alignment. You know, climb into cruising altitude, as if goodness is a given.

It reminds me of a friend whose mother would never praise her for her positive qualities and achievements, but was more than happy to dole out criticism when she did wrong. Her reason? "She's supposed to do good. Why should I acknowledge that?"

How often do we do that to ourselves? Hyper-focusing on the short-comings, the way life isn't working and miss all the times when it is really beautiful...when we are really beautiful.

I want to savor. 
I want to remember. 

How about you? 

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A New Foundation

1/17/2013

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by Belinda Lams

Welcome to my first post of 2013. 

Last night, I watched a documentary about the life of Elie Wiesel.  After surviving the atrocities of the holocaust, he became a massive advocate for human rights all over the world. 

I then looked at my new bi-line for Soul Organizer...create your best life from the inside out. It almost shocked me that my life is about helping people live their BEST life when so many people have suffered so deeply, just trying to have a life at all!  The juxtaposition...stunning.

The reason I get to do my work is because someone like Elie has done his. The foundation for freedom is starting on a much higher level in these days of human rights, especially in the US. We're not in mere survival for our lives. Most of us are not starving or being oppressed by a tyrant from the outside. The kind of suffering we typically experience is from our inner struggles and choices, or figuring out how to have relationships with other alive and free people.   

Yes, there is plenty to do in order to elevate our lives from this new foundation. I'm all about that. But, what a privilege that we are at this stage in history. I'm on my knees in gratitude.

Feel free to leave your comments.

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