by Belinda Lams

There are many ways to see things, yet we often stay committed to one version of reality...even if it keeps us stuck.

A while back, I had a coaching session with a woman who was convinced she couldn't do what she really wanted to do with her life.  

She longed to change careers, but was certain it would lead to her demise. She figured it was better to stay unhappy and unfulfilled for the rest of her life than take that risk into the great unknown.

How many times do we choose to stay on that path of mild despair?  We opt for what isn't working instead of learning how to courageously navigate what could potentially work very well.

I get it. I go through this on a daily basis. Here's what I am learning...

Just because something seems like the only option doesn't mean that it is. It just means that it is all I am willing to see. I am looking at my situation through a certain frame which creates this picture. 

So what is the obvious solution?  Reframe, of course. This is a common practice in coaching. We help our clients see what isn't working in their lives and then be willing to shift the way they perceive their situation until they find the release. 

Where are you stuck in your life? What belief, behavior, excuse are you holding tightly, even though it is slowly draining the life out of you?

There is a whole reality outside of the frame you have around your circumstances, your beliefs, your rules, and your patterns. 

Here's a starting point:
Even if you're not willing to change anything at the moment, try reframing your picture to explore some possible new scenarios.  Notice where you feel a sense of relief, openness, hope.

"There are better and worse ways to live, " says one of my teachers, Rabbi Mordecai Finley.  What if you choose better?

Belinda Lams

"My body was filled with pure light. I felt each cell start to go through a metamorphosis. It was pure bliss. Death transformed me into another kind of body. It's beautiful."

This is the account Kristine, my dental hygienist, shared with me as she scraped my teeth clean. 

It happened a year and half ago. Kristine, in her late 50s, had picked up a heavy ladder to put in her car. She felt a pressure surge into her head as if her brain was exploding. A clear and firm voice from inside her told her to call 911 because she only had 5 minutes. She giggled with joy that He would speak to her directly. Then...she called 9-1-1.  

The operator kept her on the phone while the paramedics raced to pick her up. All the while Kristine was slipping away. Her next memory was in the light. No pain. No fear.

A voice told her that they knew she was tired in her life. They said she could stay there, or choose to come back to earth because there were a few more things for her to do. She said, "I'm very tired, but I love you so much.  I'll go back."  

She awoke to find herself in ICU and learned she had suffered a brain aneurism. During her time in the hospital, she found out that her 29 year-old daughter had become pregnant. Kristine was able to help her daughter through a rough pregnancy of bedrest, and now enjoys caring for her beautiful granddaughter almost every day. It's the joy of her life. 

She shared with me some deep lessons that she understood immediately while in the light. 

All of us are here for a purpose. We are all connected, but feel separate down here in this murky realm. We must accept that each person we encounter and each situation we have is what we need to experience. Things don't make sense down here, but they do up there. We need to become aware of our lives. Accept ourselves. Accept each other. Learn. Love.

She told me she would go through many more brain aneurisms just to have that experience again. 

by Belinda Lams

My husband and I started an organic vegetable garden a couple weeks ago. We planted eggplant, tomato, jalapeno, persian cukes, radishes, spinach, kale, and lettuce.

Everyday, we run out to the garden to see if anything has happened. Are they growing? Did they get eaten by our resident possum posse?  Do they need more water? Less water?

(I actually brushed aside the top dirt to see if there were any germinating sprouts that hadn't popped through yet.  Can you say over-anxious?)

We had planted 16 radish seeds in a 4X4 pattern.  14 of them popped through, but the other 2 hadn't sprung yet. I started worrying about those 2 seeds. Why haven't they grown like the others?  Is something wrong with them? All the other ones seem to be doing just fine. 

Ok...let me get to my point, cuz you know I've got one.  

I too had been feeling like those 2 radish seeds that were still under the dirt. I was feeling like it was taking me forever to figure out my life. I started comparing myself to all the other people who have sprouted.  They are all so evolved. I'm still under here under the dirt, trying to germinate. There must be something wrong with me. Why is it taking me so long?!

And now, the lesson:  

We all develop in our own time. In our own way. Forcing ourselves to develop faster than we can doesn't work. I know. I've tried it. 

If we become aware and accept where we are, we can unfold beautifully and naturally...even enjoy the growth process.

So, I have since realigned with my own unique pace of growth.  I will pop up when I've had enough time under the ground.  

BTW, the other 2 radishes have emerged and they're doing just fine.