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Despair Then Transformation

6/24/2018

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This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 5: When The River Runs Dry — Naomi Collins-Beltz
Picture

 by Belinda Lams

"Despair is a last protection."

​                                     -David Whyte 

"Despair is a part of the metamorphosis."
                           -Naomi Collins-Beltz

Healing. Transformation. Fulfillment.


Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Pain. Depression. Despair.

Yes. Yes. And yes. 

What?!!! No!!! 

Really...yes. The painful parts of our lives serve a profound purpose. While our culture tries to tell us that any pain is bad and should be immediately resolved with some kind of magic pill, it eliminates a necessary and powerful component from our process. 

In her 
podcast episode, Naomi shared about a period of depression and despair. Her life felt like a bait and switch. She had thought she was heading toward the Promised Land of fulfillment and actualization. Instead, she found herself on Survivor Island, feeling abandoned and forgotten.

Through this painful and dark experience, she learned that Survivor Island and the Promised Land share the same territory. In order to have one, you must have the other.

Despair is a part of transformation. 
It brings you right up to the edge of your life where you feel at a loss. Then you have an opportunity to shed your current ways of thinking and behaving in order to discover new ones. 

Despair is an indicator that something needs attention.
Rather than making it bad or wrong (or making yourself bad or wrong), try going into it. What is it telling you?

Despair won't last forever. 
Even though it may feel interminable, it will surely end. Everything has a season. If you resist the pain, it actually gets stronger. Try relaxing into it and learn its teaching. 
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Accept What Is

6/17/2018

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This blog is my effort to mine the gems from "The Moment When..." podcast. 
From Episode 5: When The River Runs Dry — Naomi Collins-Beltz
Picture

​by Belinda Lams


​"I think this is the definition of insanity: when I'm living my life, but I'm denying what's happening."
                                     -Naomi Collins-Beltz

What if everything is as it should be right now.


I don’t know if I fully believe that idea philosophically, but lately I have been trying it on to see if it's helpful. And you know what? It just might be. 
(check out my thought experiment below)

In Naomi's episode, she talked about a certain kind of "insanity" that occurs when we deny the reality of what is happening in our lives. 

Here are a few common "insane" statements:

This can't be happening! (Yet it is.) 
I shouldn't feel this way. (But you do.) 
Life is NOT supposed to be like this. (Still it is.)

This disbelief or denial about what is happening is a defense mechanism. Life isn't going your way, it hurts, and you can't stand the pain. So you erect an alternate reality and hide under its illusory protection. 

But...what if everything really is as it should be right now.

What if we can say:

This is happening and it hurts. (And it's ok)
I feel afraid. (And it's ok)
Life is supposed to be like this because it is. (AND it's ok)

When you accept what is, you can find authentic solutions.

The hurt can be looked after. (You start to heal)
The fear can be faced. (You gain courage)
The difficulty can be a calling. (You transform)

As Naomi said, "If everything in your life is happening to get you to wake up…then the circumstance you’re in is what you need."


Choose sanity: Accept the reality of the moment and then make your next choice from there.

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT:
Think of a situation that you currently find particularly difficult. Now say, it’s not supposed to be this way. This can’t be happening.
Notice how it feels in your body. Notice the thoughts that come after that initial thought. 

Now try this. Think of the exact same difficult situation that you are currently experiencing. Say to yourself, everything is the way it’s supposed to be right now. (You may be resisting this idea, but just try it). Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be right now.
Notice your body sensations and the thoughts the proceed from that perspective. 


Check out Naomi's E-book with companion E-Journal, "7days-7Steps to Living IN Sanity" on Amazon.

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