by Belinda Lams

Alright. Step up on the scale. Let's see how you're doing. Feel a bit nervous?  You're not alone. 

Accurate assessments of your current condition can be like a cold splash of water in the face.  You can't lie to yourself. You can't pretend. The facts are there staring back at you.

If the scale doesn't lie, and you don't like what it says, then what are your options?  Certainly, you can dismiss the findings as impossible. You can feel shocked and bewildered. You can become depressed and despairing. Or you can find some kind of inner resolve to change your life. 
 
          To change your life requires willingness and trust to let go.

Willingness to let go of the habits, the clutter, the thought patterns, the ideology...anything that prevents you from achieving your "ideal weight."  And trust to believe that when you leave a space, it will be better than holding onto what you have right now. 

What is weighing you down?  What is in that bag of rocks you're dragging behind you everywhere you go?

Perhaps there is a relationship you need to release, a commitment you need to re-negotiate, a space you need to clear, a resentment you need to drop.

Whatever you discover when you step on that scale, let it incentivize you to release anything that is between you and where you want to be.

by Belinda Lams

I was coaching a woman a while back who was struggling to describe her current situation.  She said, "I'm in this place where I just can't stand to be in my life the way it is anymore. It's feeling empty and I'm checked out. I'm eating too much, breaking my commitments, blowing off time on the internet. I need to find something else, otherwise I'll just go crazy.  I just don't know what I want right now. I'm lost."  

I said to her, "You're in a transition."  She immediately felt a sense of relief.  The word transition named it and also gave her hope that she wasn't eternally lost. She was just in a season.

I love that about names. When we name something, it's as if we draw a circle around it, giving it borders and definition. We put it in a container and it helps us regain a sense of control and purpose.

I remember when I named my "lost" period last year.  I came to a halt with my business and needed to step away to determine if I wanted to continue. I really didn't know what was going on with me except that I had to stop.  For a few weeks, I felt really horrible about myself. Why couldn't I just force myself to get back in there?  But instead of fighting a losing battle, I listened to my inner voice and stepped back for a season. In trying to describe what was going on to others,  I longed to quantify it...sum it up.  It dawned on me to give this experience a name. The perfect name was Sabbatical.  Yes. I was taking a Sabbatical. I could live with that. This season had a name and a purpose and I was relieved and grateful. 

In "Mindsight" by Daniel Siegel, he talks about putting a label on your emotions. When you feel fear, encapsulate the emotion with a word. Fear is not all of who we are, but in the moment, it feels like it's our whole identity and will last forever.  He says, "Name it to tame it." 

Same with Steve Pressfield in his book, "The War of Art."  He personifies the creative struggle as Resistance, with a capital R. Resistance is real AND it's not all of who we are. It's manageable.

It reminds me of when I used to organize homes. At the end of the whole process,  I would pull out my label-maker and stick a name on a container of items. Office Supplies. Tech Cords. Memorabilia. It corralled the chaos.

Is there some amorphous experience you're having that is causing you to feel overtaken, confused, lost, out of control?  

Give it a Name.

by Belinda Lams

I have a friend who is embarking on a new chapter of her life. She is in the process of packing up her house to move to another state within a month's time.  There are so many quick decisions to make: finding a new place to live , hiring a moving company, should she sell her car, etc...

Time, space, and money are the boundaries...helping her make the decisions about what she can and can't do. I'm watching her whittle down her belongings to the essentials. Purge. Pack.

What are those things she wants to take forward into this next part of her life? What are the things she wants to leave behind?

If you were pressed to make a decision right now, what would you pack? What would you purge?
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What are 3 things you want to take forward in your life? 
What are 3 things you want to leave behind?

(They don't have to be physical items)

Please share your answers below.